obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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