I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
