This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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