let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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