I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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