Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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