dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
where are my eyebrows?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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