'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Dear god my vagina.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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