we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
