She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
