I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
There r osticjed everywhere
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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