come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
