This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
