So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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