Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
