yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
