I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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