Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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