There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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