She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
