Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
