i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I have grass duct taped all over my body
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Randomize
