Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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