piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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