Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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