"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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