Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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