have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
