We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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