I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
