is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
