i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I want her autograph on my taint
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
