I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
