Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
