Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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