So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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