we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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