Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
