I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
