if you like me you must not know who I am
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
