Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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