You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
