So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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