people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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