So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
