I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
