She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
