Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
