You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
