I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
