The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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